‘It’s raining and there’s a flood; the water’s rising ever so fast and I need help.’
‘Let me see, does your guttering run off into a water butt to collect the water?’
‘Yes, we’ve got water butts, water in buckets, bowls, pots, pans, cups, you name it; there’s nowhere to empty it. How can it rain so much? Last year you said there wasn’t enough water and we had a hosepipe ban, now I can’t even find the hosepipe because the tap’s underwater!’
‘Aha, a leaking tap could be the problem, do you know how much water is wasted every day through leaky taps?’
‘It’s NOT the tap, it’s the rain: the water is up to my neck already, you idiot!’
‘There’s no need to be aggressive, madam, you’re not the only one suffering; we have voters – I mean people – in the Thames Valley area who are currently experiencing some extreme damp in their outbuildings; I’ll mark your case down as vaguely pressing which means we should be able to get to you by next week, sometime, maybe… madam?’
I wrote this piece for my local writing group’s competition, a story in ten sentences on the theme of flood. The waters may have subsided but it’s not over yet.