Happy Christmas Crackers…

christmas crackerWhatever happened to the Christmas Cracker joke? They’ve gone from being cringeworthy to unintelligible. I blame the outsourcing and careless translation in the name of economy but; it could also be a shift towards post-ironic deconstructed humour.

For example, not so long ago, this joke used to run:

Q: ‘What’s white and swings through the jungle?’

A: ‘A meringue-utan.’

Current version:

Q: ‘What’s white and swings through the jungle?’

A: ‘A meringue.’

And now, here’s a selection of jokes I wrote on Twitter & Facebook for National Short Story Day:

“Onions make me cry: their stories are so sad.”

“Fearless Franz drank a whole bottle of schapps as he skiied downhill, now he’s going off piste.”

“Sit up! Christmas is crunch-time for the Abdominal Snowman.”

“I’m head over heels about this cyclops girl; she’s the one-eye love.”

“I’ve been feeding the neighbours pets. They don’t mind rabbit but are not too keen on dog.”

“My friends returned from a cruise with a sheet of plywood, apparently they’d been given a £20 voucher to spend on board.”

(Share if you like but please try and remember to give me or this blog a mention.)

Happy Christmas everyone!

And if you’re stuck for something funny to read, then you’d better get Better.
Well, it is Christmas…

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  1. #1 by lizy on December 26, 2013 - 11:58

    Happy Christmas, Mike. You will be pleased to learn that the jokes in our crackers were old-style awful, as were the hats. The dinner made up for it.

    • #2 by mike olley on December 26, 2013 - 13:52

      Feliz Navidad, Lizy. It’s always nice to have a bit of cheese with the crackers : )

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