No Plot For Sale

1471926_618511608209991_262143996_n‘What a dump. I can’t perform here. Writers!’

‘I know.’

‘When my agent asked “did I want to appear in a flash fiction”, I leaped at the chance. I mean, 100 words, that’s money for old rope. I wasn’t expecting to be tied up like this.’

‘Ah, the author’s contract. Devil’s in the details, y’know. Never trust someone who plays with words.’

‘Yes, I’ll certainly never sign in haste again. So, what’s your story?’

‘He wrote me out of his novel, didn’t kill me off, said he’d keep me in mind.’

‘And this is it? His mind?’


‘It’s filthy.’


Friday Fictioneers (FF) is a challenge open to writers all over the world: write a 100 word story using the week’s unique photo as inspiration. This week’s picture is supplied by Randy Mazie.

More hows, whens and whats of FF can be found here at Rochelle’s site. (Thank you, Rochelle, for hosting.)

Read more FF stories here.

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  1. #1 by rgayer55 on December 5, 2013 - 11:50

    This guy is a real character, but unfortunately he’s only offered bit parts and secondary roles. He needs to get a new agent. I loved the line – “money for old rope.”

    • #2 by mike olley on December 5, 2013 - 17:56

      His outstanding talent comes at a price; he’s difficult to work with : )

      ‘Money for old rope’ is an expression from the old clipper sailing days in the 18th century.

  2. #3 by patrickprinsloo on December 5, 2013 - 11:52

    Mega meta. I like it. Never trust a writer, eh.

    • #4 by mike olley on December 5, 2013 - 17:59

      One who employs word-play, puns, double-meanings and euphemism in contracts. Yes : ) Although it would make the legal system a bit less contradictory.

  3. #5 by kz on December 5, 2013 - 12:06

    haha… that last line! awesome.

  4. #7 by claireful on December 5, 2013 - 14:26

    Hah! Loved it. Especially the end – filthy mind indeed.

  5. #9 by Jan Brown on December 5, 2013 - 17:36

    Oh, this is my favorite story of the week!

    My characters are probably similarly disappointed with the state of my mind ;-)

    • #10 by mike olley on December 5, 2013 - 18:08

      Thanks, Jan. Have you ever imagined a luxury hotel they could all stay in? Better still, send them on a cruise.

  6. #11 by Helena Hann-Basquiat on December 5, 2013 - 19:05

    This was great, Mike. This happens to me all the time in conversation with my characters.

    • #12 by mike olley on December 5, 2013 - 19:59

      Haha! And isn’t it typical that when you’re trying to get some sleep all they want to do is party. All night.

  7. #13 by sustainabilitea on December 5, 2013 - 23:02

    Way to go, Mike. This was so enjoyable.


    • #14 by mike olley on December 6, 2013 - 11:45

      Glad to entertain, thank you, Janet.

  8. #15 by Sandra on December 6, 2013 - 06:37

    A killer of a last line with great comic timing. Well done.

    • #16 by mike olley on December 6, 2013 - 11:49

      Thank you kindly, Sandra. It’s not often I get to use the word ‘filthy’ with relish.

  9. #17 by atrm61 on December 6, 2013 - 14:18

    Ha!ha!What a mind!Enjoyed this!

  10. #19 by lizy on December 6, 2013 - 15:17

    Talking plants or talking to plants? Mad in aither case!
    Funny though.

    • #20 by mike olley on December 6, 2013 - 15:29

      There are no talking plants, Lizy. It’s just a fig-leaf of your imagination.

  11. #21 by Björn Rudberg (brudberg) on December 6, 2013 - 20:28

    ha — figtion I would guess

  12. #23 by rochellewisoff on December 7, 2013 - 10:44

    Dear Mike,

    I once had a friend study my office and then turned to me and said, “I’d hate to be inside your head.” Loved your story. Clever. Have you seen the movie “Stranger than Fiction?” I’m not a big Will Ferrell fan but this is a writer’s movie. Good one.



    • #24 by mike olley on December 7, 2013 - 12:09

      Rochelle, yes, I have seen the movie – it was one of those perfectly simple ideas that every writer had wished they’d had first.

      And as regards your friend, would they be referring to the saying ‘tidy desk, tidy mind’ by any chance? Simple remedy: rebrand the office as a studio, you’re allowed to have stuff all over the place in a studio.

  13. #25 by AnElephantCant on December 7, 2013 - 14:48

    Very clever and funny.
    AnElephant enjoys it.

  14. #27 by draliman on December 8, 2013 - 05:49

    Clever idea – the life of a book “extra”. Very funny!

    • #28 by mike olley on December 9, 2013 - 11:57

      Thank you, Draliman. It’s tough on the sidelines.

  15. #29 by lingeringvisions by Dawn on December 8, 2013 - 20:37


  16. #31 by Perry Block (@PerryBlock) on December 10, 2013 - 14:01

    Very cute! I think all our minds are like …. what you said.

    • #32 by mike olley on December 10, 2013 - 17:17

      Thanks, Perry. Writers are hoarders, I reckon there’d be stuff all over the place – so maybe messy, rather than filthy.

  1. No Trees Passing – Friday Fictioneers | Being the Memoirs of Helena Hann-Basquiat, Dilettante.

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